An academic by profession and a struggling writer by passion, I am an introvert who loves to spend time with her family, read books, spend time in the midst of nature and take time off from daily activities in order to simply sit and ruminate about life, its mysteries, and the myriads of philosophies that tend to baffle me.
Since I am rare on social media (having effectively relinquished their tardy company), this is my primary mode of communication with the world. Between cups of coffee and writing for my next novel, blogging is something that appeals to me the most.
I am indeed a drop of rain or a quaint fern by heart, Quiet, inconsequential and rather obscure to this turbulent and ever-changing world…
For those uninformed my name may seem rather long, however, it would be prudent to share that my first name is Lopamudra and Kalipada is the name of my father, who (during his lifetime) initiated the love for the English language in me. 🙂
I live in a country where my language is not really appreciated. And by “my language” I mean English. Perhaps I am one of the very few Indians who may be called an Anglophile in the truest sense of the term. I live, breathe, dream, love and create in English. Since childhood, no other language has appealed to me with such intense passion. And in this journey of my romance with English, I am rather solitary. Very few people around me appreciate this language. To most Indians it is a means of getting a job. It is means of putting bread and butter on one’s table. It is simply a means of acquiring a generous bank balance. But the language is not to be loved, worshiped or even admired. It is demeaned quite often with the tag of “colonialism” pasted upon it by self professed “intellectuals” residing throughout the length and breadth of India.
Once upon a time all of the above would pain me and awaken feelings of restlessness within me. Nowadays, I think I have become successful in making peace with my pain. I live within a self-fashioned cocoon that few can penetrate. I live blissfully in a world surrounded by Victorian English, culture, music and etiquette. My words are my strength. My words become invisible shields that protect me from a fast moving world where casual conversation and banter has become the order of the day. A world where language has been reduced to frothy little messages and a mere technical exchange of words devoid of feelings, emotions and depth. At times Ludwig Wittgenstein, the legendary philosopher comes to my mind. He had coined a term for these language problems and the resulting misfortune that we face in daily life…word games. I am not an expert in philosophy, but his analysis is both astounding as well deeply relevant even to this day. We are all involved in certain language (word) games, but do we really use words in order to understand each other effectively? Maybe I have reached a stage where I am tired of the spoken word. This can however be a disaster in my professional life, as much of it depends upon my speaking ability. However, lets brush aside that ominous thought for a moment and contemplate on the infallible beauty of silence and the ultimate depth of the written word. Can the spoken word ever rival the same? I think not. Unless of course, each one of us had the ability to speak like characters in Shakespeare’s plays.
For a writer or a poet, words are everything he/she possesses. And in each one’s life a time comes when the world attempts to pilfer those words. Think about it. This pilferage happens quite invisibly or delicately. If you are both a writer as well as engaged in another profession (of a more worldly nature), the other profession may require you to fashion your words according to certain set circumstances. In a corporate office you cannot use the words of your literary life. You must use words that are dry, shrunken and devoid of anything delicate in their nature. Even in social gatherings you must tailor-make your words to suit the particular occasion. Otherwise you may be considered to be bore or a dreamer or someone who cannot make interesting conversation. And in daily life? The grocer will not understand your words unless you speak his/her language. Neither will the milkman, nor the newspaperman nor anyone else remotely linked to the maintenance of a home and hearth.
Thus, we writers change. We adapt. We break in the process. We crumble at times. We search for our language in our dreams. We search for them in books. In classics written by the Bronte sisters or Austen or Hardy or Dickens. We search for them in contemporary literature written by Coetzee, Rushdie, Pamuk or Murakami. And when the sun trips away to rest for the day, we the writers wake up to new words, new sentences, newer experiences. Something that ONLY we can understand. Not this hollow kernel of a world.
I have been ill for the major part of this month. A terrible throat infection seems to have afflicted me. Trying m best to overcome the same and reawaken my spirits. Need to get back to my manuscript. Otherwise, nothing much gives me happiness these days. I know this is temporary, but I must become healthy as early as possible. Hope to return more refreshed and rejuvenated. The picture below has nothing to do with this post. Just a warm positive reminder of a life that every writer craves for.
Au revoir ! Till better days grace the portals of my life.
I am quite obsessed with low temperatures, fogs, lack of sunlight and everything that accompanies the brief and flitting Winter season that graces tropical countries. Although my country is diverse geographically and therefore it is a mixture of the tropics. the Mediterraneans and even the temperate climes, Calcutta, the city that I live in experiences very brief Winters. This time of the year Winter seems to have swept across the city in her full bloom. We are going through one of the coldest weeks of the year. While the rest of my countrymen (and women) are shivering under their coats and mufflers, I am enjoying the crisp morning air accompanied by Bach, Beethoven, Tchaikovsky, Chopin, Vivaldi and last but not the least, Mozart, This is also the season for planning my future writing projects and to wait for the old ones to get approved. Every writer must wait for approval from the publisher or the agent and the only thing he can do to spend or save time (as he sees fit) is to write another book. 🙂 That is precisely what I am doing at present. Therefore, I have decided only to write something over here once I finish each important segment of my book. This exercise will allow me to focus more on my book and maintain a regular schedule so that I am able to complete the first draft by mid 2024. In the meantime, I will be posting some of my most cherished music pieces from the Great Masters of Western Classical Music.
Till we meet next time once I finish a particular segment of my novel. Au revoir folks !
